A Soft Shift

I grew up when I learnt I can cut off people. Seriously, I did not know that! I felt I would hurt someone, until I realized I needed to prioritize my peace of mind. I do not need to be ‘nice’ to everyone. MY wish. ONLY.

I grew up when I learnt to escape pointless conversations. I am not meant for this. I don’t want to waste my energy keeping a conversation going, lowering my standards. GET UP and leave! I can.

I grew up when I learnt that silence is the best reply often… Not everything gets my response.

I grew up when I realized that having a standard is not ‘attitude’. It’s maturity.

I grew up when I realized people speak from what they’ve been taught - like programmed patterns. They have seen it, they learnt it, it is their normal. And most of it has nothing to do with me at all. Again, having standards in what to listen- is a thing! It's maturity.

I grew up when I learnt to shrink my circle of attention. Narrow it so much so that all the noise and negativity stay out. Wow, how happy it keeps me. Fewer people. Fewer problems. Less noise, more peace.

I grew up when I learnt, water ONLY the plants I want should grow. The ones that will provide me, shade me, or add beauty to my life. And simply let the rest fade.

I grew up when I learnt not everyone will like you growing up.

Sometimes I feel why was I being stupid? (Of course, that will be felt every few years)

Was I naive… or just unaware? Or maybe the shift is difficult? How do I change what once felt like my nature, with every new phase of life? Time does ask you to outgrow parts of yourself.

How do I become what I am naturally not? And yet… It’s necessary. To just breathe a little easier.

Possible. Slowly. But it feels very good, feels lighter, feels right!

I am still, any day, very proud of my core values. I was raised with them. I very proudly own them. I grew up when I became more confident than ever for how I think, perceive, and process.

I am never losing that ever. It’s like growing without losing myself. Or, growing to be more myself. I am sure I am not the only one to experience the beauty of this.

Pheww… it took time, but I have grown a lot. I am still growing.

And maybe that’s what growing up really is- becoming, without losing yourself.